Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou

[VivisQueen]

Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou


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Site Reviews: VivisQueen 

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[therik]

If I could describe your review in one word, it would be "creamy". Is that a good thing? I think so. It's not quite as dynamic as your usual material, but no less pleasant to read. Particularly enjoyed the closing paragraph. Anyway, that's enough meta-reviewing, a few things came up...

Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou takes all the staple elements of the first season

This one's probably just down to personal preference, but if you use staple as a noun here rather than an adjective, you don't need to stick "elements" in here.

This is a positive step in the right direction for the series

That's almost certainly a tautology. It's either a positive step or a step in the right direction. I don't think having both really adds a whole lot to what you're saying.

On the other hand, while character designs are simple, the inherent quality of the animation – smooth motion, original monster, and attractive concept – indicates a respectable budget and a creative design team

Perhaps there's more than one monster? I don't know, I haven't seen it, but still. Reads funny.

Indeed, while the story reserves only the choicest development for its chief characters

You started the previous sentence with "indeed" as well. This is most definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black as I overuse the word too. And that last metaphor is probably not racist.

Secondly, if I've interpreted your review correctly, I think you might be better off saying "The story reserves the choicest development only for its chief characters" rather than "the story reserves only the choicest development for its chief characters". The sentence would make more sense as well, because "while" seems like you're contrasting a negative with a greater positive and yet the comments on each side of the comma are nothing but complimentary.

[VivisQueen]

Love it! All superb tips.

Also, I thought I could smell KKK among us. Turns out it was you with your white supremist shoujo sigs. That old trick, eh?

[sothis]

great review!