To Love-Ru

[VivisQueen]

Also:

Hardly rocket science, leading you to wonder about the rest of the show, given how little effort was clearly put into to creating the drones that inhabit it.

A few suggestions on how to rewrite maybe:

1) Hardly rocket science, given how little effort was put into creating the drones that inhabit it; it makes you wonder about the rest of the show, however. *on second thought, this doesn't convey what you mean in terms of structure*

2) Hardly rocket science, given how little effort was put into creating the drones that inhabit it, although it makes you wonder about the rest of the show. *RUN-ON*

3) This is hardly rocket science, but given how little effort was put into creating the drones that inhabit it, you do wonder what that means for the rest of the show. *better, but still run-on*

4) This is hardly rocket science; given how little effort was put into creating the drones that inhabit it, it really does make you think about the rest of the show. *probably best suggestion*

Meh.

[sothis]

i think i like 3 the best actually - love the semicolon in 4 but 'it really does make you think about the rest of the show' is still a bit ambiguous. 3 is super clear that the crappy chars mean the rest of the show probably also sucks.

[therik]

I like sentence 3, but I think it misses some of the meaning. I've replaced "but" with "and", as I think this gets my original intention across better. Does this obstruct the meaning, for you?

"This is hardly rocket science, and given how little effort was put into creating the drones that inhabit it, you do wonder what that means for the rest of the show."

[VivisQueen]

Nooooooooo! Vivafruit is reading this thread! Damnit, he's going to murder my grammar something rotten.

[vivafruit]

Haha that will have to wait as I don't have time now. For now I'll say that beginning sentences with conjunctions is informal but ok. However, correct comma use is mandatory in my opinion, at least in semi-formal writing like a review.