Kanashimi no Belladonna

[valondar]

Originally Posted by sothis

[side note: valondar, you'll definitely be added to the site reviewer list :) i do agree with viva that the only thing left which i think will dramatically improve your writing style is the stop-and-go element].

Thanks. I've tried to make this flow more smoothly but I'm not sure if I succeeded. I wound up using vivafruit's example paragraph because, honestly, the alternates I tried weren't as fluid.

[vivafruit]

Looks good. At this stage it's mainly just a matter of cleaning up after so many rewrites.

Originally Posted by valondar

the film likely has more in common with other arty animated films of the era then most of the anime produced then or now.

Can't believe I missed this the first 2 times. ><

Originally Posted by valondar

Belladonna focuses on the travails of Jeanne, a peasant woman in medieval Europe. Married to another peasant named Jean, she is raped in a horrific manner by the Baron and his court. In time, she becomes the fulcrum of a sexual rebellion against authority.

Throughout the film lust and power are intertwined. Sexually violated by the powerful, Jeanne seeks power through an eroticised alliance with the Devil. Essentially, all of the events in the plot can be related to one or both of these themes. Though the plot paces well, it unfolds with the inevitability of a fable.

Although the film contains exploitative elements it maintains a serious tone. An epilogue makes the feminist undertones overt, but generally the film is restrained.

I think the first paragraph is good support for your thesis in the second paragraph, so I would combine those two paragraphs in a way that the content in the first paragraph is used to support the idea that lust and power are intertwined.

Also, use a different transition for one of those two sentences at the end.

Originally Posted by valondar

At first glance, this may seem an improbably high rating. The film is over thirty years old and uses limited animation. Many stretches are confined to pans over still drawings.

You've got 3 subject verb sentences in a row, so it's a little choppy. Since these three sentences are all related, I'd combine two of the three sentences into a compound somehow.

Originally Posted by valondar

I thought the voice actors acquit themselves well, from reading dialogue to moaning in agony - which is of about equal import.

People overuse "I thought" in reviews. Most of the time, it's redundant since a review is all about your opinions anyway. The only time I see it being useful is when you want to emphasize that you are saying something that you know many people will disagree with. In this case good voice acting isn't a particularly interesting point to draw that kind of conflict, so I'd cut it. If you want to leave it in, change its tense to "I think" so it conforms with the rest of your review.

Originally Posted by valondar

Special praise is given to the casting of Tatsuya Nakadai, a famous live-action actor (featured in many Kurosawa films) as the Devil. His dark His dark baritone is an ideal fit for the role. Sound effects are unremarkable but competent.

Passive voice is yucky, so I'd change the first sentence. The second thing looks like a typo.

Originally Posted by valondar

She is even eroticised in those rare cares where the plot is not doing it anyway.[/b]

Another typo.

Originally Posted by valondar

Of the others, only Jean is given a semblance of a character arc. He goes from being a pure lover to an emasculated figure who finally gives in to revenge. Yet these developments are handled so detachedly Jean is even less of a character.

Second sentence is a bit choppy, and "He" should be "the character" or some such because of the whole antecedent thing.

Detachedly gets the red squiggly line from Firefox spell-check, and while I'm pretty sure it's technically a word, it's certainly not a common one. "in such a detached fashion," would be a more conventional replacement of the bolded part.

Originally Posted by valondar

OVERALL:
Quite possibly very few people will like Belladonna at all. I am hesitant to recommend it without these caveats.

Comma after possibly.

At this point, I've spent so much time reading and commenting on this thing that I could have probably written a review of my own by now (O.o), but whatever, I hope my comments have been helpful. With the final wave of edits, I think it'll be ready to be posted unless someone else wants to chime in on possible changes.

[valondar]

The review has been edited again.

Originally Posted by vivafruit

Detachedly gets the red squiggly line from Firefox spell-check, and while I'm pretty sure it's technically a word, it's certainly not a common one.

Microsoft Word considers it a word (but not arthouse, oddly). I've changed it though.

At this point, I've spent so much time reading and commenting on this thing that I could have probably written a review of my own by now (O.o), but whatever, I hope my comments have been helpful.

They have. Thank you for your time, advice and patience.

[VivisQueen]

Just like that, a new site reviewer is born! Congratulations, Valondar!

And lol @ vivafruit. You know you love it when I internalise your diktats.

[vivafruit]

Is this ever going to be posted on the site?

[valondar]

Originally Posted by vivafruit

Is this ever going to be posted on the site?

Sorry, that's my fault. Sothis gave me some pointers (on MSN, though I've saved the conversation) on how to make the material flow better and I've given it some stabs, but probably not devoted as much time to these revisings as I should have. I'll give it another polish and post on Wednesday.

[valondar]

Not a fan of double-posting but that revised draft is now up.