Mokke

[Sheex]

Mokke

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Site Reviews: mariprosa

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[Sheex]

Noticed a few grammatical corrections for you to make.

- You forgot to italicize the titles of the anime you mentioned.

- Your second paragraph of the "story" section seems to have gotten cut off.

- In the animation you have "It takes on a classic animation style and I could probably argue that it's one of the series in the latter half of 2007 that impressed me on this measurel." Drop the "l" off measure. =P

- Your first sentence of the sound section is a run-on; you might consider splitting into two.

- In the first paragraph of your characters section you wrote "Granted, in this nature, there is character growth, but perhaps not as well presented as it could be. Each episode does progress as a senario." You forgot the "c" in scenario.

- Later on in the paragraph you misspell both "repetitive" (as "repeittive") as well as "precocious."

- In the next paragraph you wrote "Granted, she also has her insecurities with her powers, in that she cannot see the spirits that possess her." That second comma seems awkward as it disrupts the flow of the sentence. You also misspell "bring" as "bringi."

That's all I saw for now, though I am in a bit of a hurry at the moment. Great review as usual!

[mariprosa]

Thanks for the comments; I definitely appreciate it! :) Pending I've had a lot of trouble signing into the main site, so I tried to correct everything and then some.

I lost a whole section of my review and the changes as well from when I pasted them in, but I think everything's up to speed now. Not sure how that happened.

Ah: minor correction: I think in your first post you say it's a review for Fate/Stay Night, it's Mokke, you have it correct everywhere else though :P

[Sheex]

Thought something seemed awkward when it cut off; anytime. =)

Oh, and I copied the template from my FS/N post. Guess I forgot to fix the title; done now.

[VivisQueen]

You say something like 'I'd certainly buy it if it came to the states.' 'states' should start with a capital letter.

Apart from that, awesome review. So glad other reviewers are active again!

[mariprosa]

Thanks Vivi, and I'll correct that as well :)

Yeah, I'm bouncing back and forth with reviewing, and I'm glad to see some of the other reviewers as well. Been so busy IRL it's making my head spin, but hopefully I can craft a few others in the next few days or so.