[VivisQueen]

Dude, let's work on getting this posted, shall we?

Story 4/10
I’m probably not the best person to review this – the target audience is 15 years younger, and I lack a penis, but I have been pleasantly surprised by shounen classics in the past: Hunter X Hunter had an alluring charm and One Piece is comedic action at its best. Unfortunately, the opening of the show <--- I'd use 'Shaman King' as you haven't yet stated which anime you're reviewing introduces the tempo; a crawling banality that lasts for 64 episodes, or 1536 minutes of life wasted on animated mediocrity. <--- as it stands, the first sentences is saying it's unfortuante that the beginning introduces the tempo, rather than the fact the tempo is slow from the start. You need to reorganise the sentece. I recommend: 'Unfortunately, Shaman King's has a crawling tempo, a tediousness that lasts for 64 episodes...' ('banality' refers to something being dull/hackneyed/vapid, and not it's speed) The promise of exciting fantasy action falls short of the mark, <--- a promise can't fall short - however, the action that occurs can fall short of the promise. You could just say 'the fantasy action falls short of the mark' and you’re left with a lukewarm trickle of tiresome humdrum that never manages to find a <--- cut 'a' form or direction.

As Shaman King attempts to gather some momentum, more characters are introduced to help bulk out the crazy cast. <--- I don't understand why 'crazy' is here. You don't back it up by describing what exactly makes them crazy, nor have you shown this previously. Cut or amend the word The back-story to each new inductee is handled reasonably well, giving every member a reason to fight alongside Yoh to be in with the <--- 'to fight alongside Yoh and gain a chance to become...' chance of becoming the number one shaman. With a blend of familiar personalities, it feels like the group is composed of the recycled off-cuts from shows such as Yu-gi-oh and nothing feels new or breaks any revolutionary barriers.

With a spotlight on the clichéd “friends are stronger together than alone” ideology, the show sometimes misses out on playing on one of its strengths – a vast catalogue of enemies available for somewhat <--- cut 'somewhat' awesome battles. There is an initial promise of regular ass-kicking in the beginning as the characters struggle to enter the shaman tournament, something soon lost as the story bogs itself down with lessons in morality and inner strength. As the climax approaches, it all just <--- cut 'just' feels a little too late and the epic final struggle is nothing more than a tarnished <--- cut 'tarnished', you haven't mentioned anything that tarnishes it, just that it lacks something, plus I think 'wreck' creates a stronger ending on its own wreck.

Maybe I would enjoy the show more if seen earlier in my anime watching career, <--- cut wordage by saying 'if I had less anime experience', this also avoids the repetition of 'watch' later however the more anime I watch, the more glaring the flaws in Shaman King become. The battle scenes suffer from <--- cut 'suffer from predictablity and overdone familiarity' and replace with 'are predictable and generic' predictability and overdone familiarity; characters discovering a new secret attack as they encounter stronger enemies is very <--- cut 'very' reminiscent of Bleach and the team dynamic is similar to that in Hunter X Hunter. Some jokes may occasionally raise a smile, but lack a certain je ne sais quoi from being considered <--- you need to be more specific, 'je ne se quoi doesn't say anything about why the humour fails'. Is it too slapstick? is the timing off? Too childish? Does it make references Westerners wouldn't understand? Also, grammatically it should be 'lack a certain je ne sais quoi TO BE considered...' hilarious – an issue that plagues most of the show. Although being <--- cut 'being' far from perfect, the story is at least <--- cut 'at least' consistent and does not get dragged down by <--- avoid passive voice by using something like: 'does not suffer an abundance of filler' OR 'does not have any filler' filler episodes; <--- use period instead of semicolon every small arc holds some importance on the journey the character’s take, even if not immediately apparent.


Animation 6/10
The quirky and angular faces were extremely off-putting at first, however (COMMA) the brash graffiti styled characters soon grow on you and the bold scenery is true to the manga. <--- run on sentences with too many ideas crammed into one. I recommend: 'The angular faces are off-putting at first, however, the brash graffiti-style character designs soon grow on you. Moreover, the bold scenery is true to the manga.' The care and consideration <--- cut either care or consideration, both say the same thing so repetition is unnecessary that has gone into the visual side of each character gives them unique charm that will not easily be forgotten. <--- convoluted: 'The consideration given to the character designs affords them a unique charm and makes them memorable' Unfortunately, the appeal is sometimes limited, <--- cut comma as the madcap power-up scenes look especially <--- cut 'especially' awkward and the overblown combat moves are jerky. <--- I'd actually recommend cutting down to something like: 'the madcap power-up scenes and overblown combat moves look awkward'

Sound 7.5/10
A very strong and familiar sounding vocal cast truly <--- cut 'truly' bring the characters to life with some brilliantly compassionate <--- compassionate? As in sympathetic/full of pity? I think you want a different word acting. From the nasal and wimpish Manta, <--- remove comma to the manly grumblings of butch Ryu, <--- 'to Ryu's manly grumblings' (COMMA)there is no character that comes across as <--- cut 'comes across as', replace with 'is' annoying or poorly voiced. Overall, the music is quite enjoyable in this show <--- 'Overall, Shaman King's music is enjoyable'; emotive orchestral harmonies during the poignant scenes and buoyant salsa beats during the battles mean it all comes together beautifully. Unfortunately, the first opening track had me grasping for the remote in desperation to skip the grating refrain and “motivational” lyrics. <--- hahaha! Nice.


Characters 5/10
With a long list of players in the shaman fights, there are many standout personalities; <--- period instead of semicolon Yoh is extremely <--- cut 'extremely' OR replace 'extremely laidback' with stronger and more unusual adjective: lackadaisal/languid/blase/nonchalant (the thesaurus is your friend) laidback and uses his deadpan style to disarm enemies and bring them to fight for good, Ryu plays out as comedy <--- comic relief with a yakuza attitude and a bouffant quiff, and even the emotionally void doctor Faust makes for entertaining viewing. On the flip side of the coin is Anna, a girl whose sole purpose in life is to marry the shaman king and Chocolove; (she is) a pointless and unfunny brat who was blessed with the looks of Usopp from One Piece. Focused primarily on showing the male protagonists' development, the show attempts to bite off more than it can chew; lacking development of the interesting side characters, quantity takes precedent over quality. This is compounded by an overwhelming supporting cast; with a feel of a brain storming session gone wrong, the mishmash of comically powered villains was seemingly concocted by a room of designers on a sugar high. <--- overkill of semicolons, and this is generally throughout the review, it's leading you to write similarly structured sentences. Honestly, go through the entire review and try to remove as many as possible (except between obviously short sentences). If it helps, I did this overkill too at first.


Overall 5/10
Overall Shaman King isn’t bad; then again it isn’t good either. Instead, it sits balanced precariously on the fence; awesomeness lies on one side and an animated fiery hell on the other, but it doesn’t seem to lean towards either. With an excellent premise, I feel that this show could have been an appealing success to the general otaku viewer. As it stands, shounen fan-boys are the only ones I can see truly <--- cut 'truly' enjoying this and <--- a semicolon or dash would be appropriate here the rest of the anime community will simply be disappointed by another run-of-the-mill action flick that leaves them out in the cold.