Re: Chrome Shelled Regios
There is nothing really wrong with this show per se, in fact all of its pieces are fairly decent. Instead, its that suffers from a nearly complete lack of personality and an overly complicated plot.
This sentence flows a bit awkward; I'd recommend merging the thought together in something like: "While there is nothing particularly wrong with the show per se, it suffers from a distinct lack of personality and a needlessly complicated plot." Remember, more words are not always better; in stating your central points, it is generally best to be concise.
These shortcomings certainly don't cripple the show; CSR's creative failings have a more hobbling effect: it manages to stumble to its season conclusion by entertaining when it must and being sufficiently pretty and intriguing to string the viewer along.
Your style seems very much prone to adopting transititory phrases. Your string your ideas along in a similar way that I do, and trust me when I say they do wonders for your flow. Also, your phrase after the comma seems jumbled. Consider something like:
Fortunately, these shortcomings certainly don't entirely cripple the show, as CSR's creative failings have a more hobbling (humbling?) effect: [they manage to string the viewer along sufficiently enough to be entertaining.]
You clearly have more of an idea where you're going with the thought, though, so play with it as needed.
From where I sit, it looks like the creative team for Chrome Shelled Regios got together and watched Ergo Proxy, ultimately deciding to make something that was like it, only with less interesting visuals and a more complicated plot:
End it with a period, not a colon. :)
Set in either an alternate world or a post-apocalyptic Earth, CSR's tells...
Drop the possessive apostrophe off CSR's; it should simply read CSR.
CSR suffers in its adaption from multiple light novels.
Add in some commentary here, such as "As interesting as this may sould, CSR suffers in its jumbled adaptation from multiple light novels." Try to intermix your commentary with your statements; it lets the reader know not only your opinion, but why you are making it. These are key elements in helping your reader decide whether or not the show will interest them.
Also, try to catch yourself in your overuse of "really." It can be an effective word, but you're using it far too often (very likely subconsciously.)
for example, the Salinvan Mercenary Gang gets involved with Zulleni to help with the fight against the Filth Monsters, but much of its plot was consumed by Haia's need to challenge Layfon to duels while the machinery of the main plot turned in the background through vignettes covering Leerin and Queen Alsheyra.
I was going to comment on this as a negative, but on second thought I think it makes for a fantastic proof of your point. My head was spinning with "What the what is what?" the entire length of the sentence. Since it's amusingly in line with your commentary, I vote it stays.
...however[,] given the limited space available to carry out these events, the whole sequence felt rushed and explained far too little.
Needs moar comma.
The series['] end (conclusion?) did feel rushed and explain[ed] too little
Needs moar apostrophe.
I've got to go for now, but overall I liked the review. Great work! Maybe Vivi, slave to my will that she is, can go over the latter sections for you when she wakes up in the morning.