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Old 12-09-2008, 09:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
VivisQueen
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Germany
Age: 28
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Default Re: Macross F

Ouch.

Well, I think the site reviewers are going to start getting famous for just picking the top three shows of a season and slagging them off. Haha.

I'm not really sure how to feel about the more ranty tone. Then again, I'm just not sure whether it's the first draft's lack of polish that's nagging me. To put it another way, on average, vivafruit reviews rank 9/10. This one feels like a 7.5/10. Frankly though, if this is your first draft, the 9/10 writing is probably just around the corner. As a general note: Do you normally write in past tense? I think I've pretty much read everything you've written, and I swear the past tense sounds odd. Moreover, you kinda flit between the two, starting off more present tense and then ending up with past tense. I couldn't see any particular reason why, so I'm not sure if that's an accident or not.

Anyway, the specifics:

Quote:
Originally Posted by vivafruit View Post
People are writing negative reviews of popular series? ME TOO ME TOO

As is usual nowadays, my work here is less polished on its first draft than it used to be, so feedback is greatly appreciated. I think this review is a little more ranty than my usual voice, and I'm curious to see what people think about it.

Story – 3/10

Want to watch a tragedy? Sit through the entirety of Macross F, all the while thinking of what could have been made if this talent <--- whose talent? had been used to make something more than a creatively brain-dead retread of a 20-year-old franchise. <--- I think the entire sentence is a bit long, a bit too much info crammed in. Maybe split it up a little? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so much effort and money spent on something so spectacularly shallow.

For a while, I was able to enjoy the series solely on its production values alone. To be sure, Macross F has the slickest combination of animation and sound released in a series this year. However, some glitzy animation and a deep, high quality soundtrack can only carry a series so far, and I was soon hoping that the series could pull together into the epic series promised in the first few episodes. <--- repetition in one sentence

This never happens. Instead, Macross F continues to drunkenly <--- I'm wondering if you could use a different adverb, something that instantly connects with the mecha genre, because 'drunkenly' seems random. I watched 6 episodes, and there was nothing suggesting a drunken style to the show. Drunken to me suggests meandering, slow, disconnected, confused, and I really didn't get that sense. Actually, you could cut 'drunkenly' and just have 'careen', which suggests reckless car crash ahead all in itself careen through its to-do list of key plot points and fails to be engaging the entire way through. Not only are the disparate elements of the show mediocre to start (with?), but they never come together as a cohesive whole. From the pop-star careers to the clumsy love triangle to the intermittent attacks by boring bugs ripped straight out of Starship Troopers, nothing fits together.

In fact, at times I felt like I was watching a four OVA story stretched into a 25 episode series. To compensate for the added length, the writers added superfluous plot thread after superfluous plot thread until they had enough material. <--- Apart from the repetition, I wonder whether it might be more consistent in present tense, but that's just a thought The final product is, well, about as terrible as you’d expect it to be: bloated, unorganized and in strong need of some ruthless cutting.

The last straw is that the ending episode is unforgivably sloppy; <--- could cut on the wordiness and be more direct by rewriting to 'The last straw is the unforgivably sloppy ending' basically, <--- cut 'basically'. I've learned that the thing about 'basically' is that it's basically superfluous pretty much all the time the series tries to resolve every single one of their endless loose ends in less than five minutes, so it can use the other fifteen minutes on a boring mecha battle. The entire thing reeks of anticlimax.

Animation – 9/10

The visuals have clearly been heavily aided by computers, and the resulting richness of detail is impressive. Granted, I sometimes got tired of the incessantly glitzy style; in particular, I thought the luminous, almost neon color palette was a little painful at times. Still, no one is going to complain that the animators were underfunded.

Arguably the best use of animation comes during the musical performances. This is the best choreography that I have ever seen in an animated work, and no, nothing else comes close. All in all, I swear I watched the new version of “Watashi no Kare wa Pilot” five times.

Sadly, for all of the glitz and glamour, the action scenes are surprisingly yawn-inducing. While they’re by no means terrible, oftentimes they lack kinetic punch. <--- I'd love you to expand this criticism a little more, just to fully outline what you mean by 'lack kinetic punch' Compared to the intensely frenetic battles in Macross Zero, this is a definite step back.


Sound – 8/10

The music is nice, at least. Some of Sheryl's songs are a little dull, but Ranka's singer has a good voice and some catchy songs to work with. Also, there's such a huge selection of songs that the show can pick and choose over the course of the series, ensuring none of them get old.

Voice acting is workmanlike but unremarkable. Series like this illustrate, in my view, how hard giving a convincing performance can be when the script is ass.

Characters – 3.5/10

I’ve talked about bloated casts before in (my reviews of) Code Geass and Mai Hime, and the same concept applies here. Given the depth of the narrative, there are about five times as many characters as the show really needed. I swear that a lot of characters' only perceivable function is to take up space and make the story seem more epic than it is. The result is that I didn't care about anyone, not about the by-the-numbers protagonist (no, adding a ponytail is not innovation <--- HAHAHA! I thought this too!) and certainly not about the numerous contrived half-baked romances between the side-characters.

The fact that I didn’t like Ranka (girl #1) is telling of just how utterly the writers fail, because God knows they tried to get me to care about her. Still, in spite of the endless GAMBATTE dialogue, in spite of the bullshit tragic backstory, in spite of the contrived amnesia plot device, in spite of the adorable character design, in spite of all of this, nothing worked and I still felt largely indifferent to the character.

Sheryl (girl #2) fares slightly better, if for no other reason that <--- should be: 'than that' her personality actually feels vaguely different from the clichéd character archetypes that the rest of the characters (including Ranka) <--- cut the bit in brackets, since by 'rest of the characters' you easily imply her as well so faithfully follow. Still, oftentimes “different” translates to “annoying,” <--- how can this be true? If you mean this in a general sense, then your assertion is simply irrational. If you mean specifically in Sheryl's case, then I'd like the point justified with a little more detail e.g. examples of how her being different leads to her being more annoying than she otherwise would be and she by no means saves the cast as a whole.

Overall - 4.5/10

I thought the show was mediocre to start, but for a while I was able to enjoy myself on the strength of the visuals and music alone. However, this appeal gradually faded, and by the end I was completing the series only because I was almost done anyway. Throw in the awful ending and it's one of the worst full length series I've finished in some time.
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Last edited by VivisQueen; 12-09-2008 at 10:58 AM.
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