wow - this review is easily your best yet - bravo!! your flow is extremely fluid and the stop and go element isn't a problem at all (there's some, but it blends in just fine due to the enhanced flow of the rest of the review). perhaps this change is because you're a huge fan of the series? whatever it took to channel this flow, do whatever you can to implement that on others :D as this is flat out outstanding. i'd love to see you update your old crocodile review to have a similar type of flow, and for both to be posted on the site :D
(and just because i love throwing things in, are you perhaps interested in reviewing the other lotgh titles? that would be awesome to have them up!)
i don't have time to read the review fully right now (i read the story section and skimmed the rest due to time issues), but i do have one minor suggestion: try to throw in the name of the anime sometimes, amidst a sea of 'it' and 'the series'. i consider that sort of like using someone's name once and then a ton of pronouns. For example, 'Ray did this. He then went here, but he also thought he did this. After, he also said this, and then he went there' instead of 'Ray did this. He then went there, but also thought he did this. After, Ray...' to break it up a bit. you do this sometimes (like near the end), but at other times there's a large amount of text without it.
So in this case (and i think having the title at the beginning of the review is key, anyways):
I’m no stranger to space opera, so when I heard that Legend of the Galactic Heroes
an epic war between a Galactic Empire and a Free Planets Alliance...
or, another example:
Yet further the show went. Every other time I was about to make a sly remark about the moral hypocrisy of one position or the ramifications of another, it was done for me
– often through the omnipresent narrator. Think that the gallant politeness of fellow commanders is nothing more than the complicity of mass murderers? It’s an idea mentioned in passing. If the war is frequently depicted simply as spaceships exploding to a classical soundtrack, sometimes (you said it... does that mean the war? lotgh?)
depicts a soldier trying to hold his intestines in his chest while his ship is eliminated. Galactic Heroes
is surprisingly even handed as it judges the respective benefits and problems of a corrupt democracy and benevolent dictatorship. To the extent the show has an agenda, it is in characters rather than politics – which I’ll mention later.
and one other quick note, watch out for recurring 'the' sentences (this is a flow thing that you clearly are becoming much better at). for example:
The scope and development of the plot, taking in the fate of these two nation states and their struggle to the finish, is compelling. The series is never fast paced but I can’t recall an episode that felt like filler – it feels like the inexorable march of historical events, or, as the narrator frequently intones, ‘another page of galactic history is turned’.
The series is also at pains to flesh out its universe. Whole episodes are devoted to history lessons, which are more entertaining than that might sound
three 'the' sentences in a row! ^_^; i try at all costs to not use 'the' sentences if possible. often an easy change is adding the name (ie for the animation section, Galactic Heroes' animation instead of 'the animation'), slight rewriting (ie, 'While the story isn't fast-paced, I felt...') or just starting with the noun. for example:
The space battles tend to fall into the more common space opera trope of ignoring three dimensions
Space battles are frequent and tend to fall into the more....
great review!! others can chime in with more specifics, i might have more once i have time for a full read :) as mentioned i'd love to see this element of flow be applied to old crocodile!