Once upon a time there was this cool anime called Space Pirate Captain Harlock, and was about this serious manly rebel who gets fed up with the way Earth turned into a fruitless life of working and consuming (being overrun by hostile aliens every year had something to do with). So he decides to board this super cool scull-themed spaceship and roam the universe, free to go anywhere he pleases, a place without joyless capitalists, merciless bureaucrats, and military jerks. Occasionally, he returns to save his homeland from all sorts of cosmic threats that want to take over his old joint. He was such a cool guy.Fast-forward three decades and everything is different. Serious manly protagonists no longer sell and apparently the majority of the (actual) buyers prefer spineless boys and dumb cute girls. As a result we get Bodacious Space Pirates, (BSP) a show about your average cute schoolgirl, who one day learns that she inherited by her father a pirate crew. Hm, doesn’t the premise remind you of something? Ah but yes, it is the same as Hitman Reborn but instead of mafia and dumb boys this is about pirates and dumb girls. And they are both equally silly since they both have absolutely nothing to do with actual mafia or piracy; it is just a random shallow excuse to get the show going.Although the atmosphere and plot of Harlock were slow, grim and depressing, you could still appreciate the social criticism of the modern way of life and Harlock himself was never fooling around. It was naive and was oozing idealism but at least it had an identity and was trying to have a message. In a similar manner, One Piece is also about this funny pirate crew roaming around the world, looking for adventure while occasionally fighting all sorts of tyrants. It also had an identity and a message. BSP on the other hand doesn’t try to do anything more than making a parody of the whole piracy thing; the “bodacious” word in the title is just a troll. To put it bluntly NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS SHOW. It is storyless space moe and the only reason I mentioned the other anime is only because there is nothing to fill this review with regarding the Moecious Space Lolis.I have no problems with the production values, they just look nice for the time they were made and the sci-fi touches offer something interesting to pay attention to. They are otherwise not amazing and the lolis wear miniskirts despite trying to come off as pirates. There isn’t any in-your-face fan service but trying to establish characters through fetishes is still fan service and it’s still trashing characterization and character respect.There were many who got be mesmerized by the show’s attention to sci-fi details. It tried a lot to portrait a futuristic society where technology of that time is put to use and its presentation appears to be far more technical than in a usual space show. Meaning, they show how they steer a ship with more ways than just pressing a few buttons. Other than that though the whole thing is still far from realistic and this whole fascination to sci-fi portrayal is just useless fluff. You can easily find lots of things that make no sense such as the female spacesuits being skin-tight and have boobs hanging out too much (Boobacious Space Pirates, lol) while male suits are bulky and don’t reveal any body features. Plus you see no method to keep them floating in vacuum or security for not drifting away while outside the spaceship. They also seem to prefer spending a whole minute in pressing buttons and making a holographic arrow to appear on an empty seat for you to sit on, instead of just pointing you to where you can sit. And let’s not disregard how they all wear miniskirts in space; that male trainer of theirs must constantly have a boner with so much pantsu flash. Not that the girls seem to care in the least though; the show is also called Miniskirt Pirates after all. Don’t think it’s weird when the heroine appears dressed as a pirate while still wearing a tiny skirt… In fact, don’t think at all.Our heroine Marika is a heroine with potential that was unfortunately thrown in a most dull setting. He charm is simply impossible to shine because everything goes too rosy for her. She never chose her role or goal in life; it was FORCED on her. And she is not learning anything on her own either; everything is spoon-fed to her through space school lessons. She also works in a maid café, so she ends up being memorable only as a combo of schoolgirl/maid/pirate fetish.Besides her there is also a bunch of pirates who … are just there. And then some other cute girls used as background decoration and pervert-bait. And that’s all I have to say about the characters. Seriously, that’s it, what did you expect me to write about? People who don’t do anything? There are so many of them, none of which managed to be anything more than eccentrically dressed actors. The pirates don’t even look a bit vicious; when Marika is in her pirate uniform you almost expect her to yell “trick or treat”.The only ones besides her I can say a few things about are the two lesbians. They are a bit memorable because… um… they are lesbians; the end. And that gives them ten times more characterization than everybody else, so you get the idea of how dull the cast is. Because this is a show about pirates who aren’t really pirates but a freaking theatre troupe. Seriously, they are called pirates only in name since they are not living a free and lawless life (like normal pirates do). They are working for and paid by governments to do all sorts of illegal activities but this does not make them privateers either. They are not ordered by one government to loot and plunder areas on another government because THERE ARE NO OTHER GOVERNMENTS; everything is just one big happy world order. So how can pirates exist if the government pays them to do robberies? Well, it’s not in order to kill, rape, and destroy enemy installations (it would be a fun show if they were) but instead all they do is take up staged missions, ordered by the VICTIMS, who see the whole show as entertainment and who even get a refund for whatever they lose. Thus it is done just to keep the masses happy with cheap thrills and in practice nobody is actually hurt. For that reason, there is practically no conflict in the whole show besides simple dull missions where nothing of importance ever happens. In one word BOOORING!So wait a second, what is this show about if not about its main attraction (you know, pirates)? Well, basically, it’s about the same thing all moe slice of life schoolgirls are about for decades now. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! There are a few grains of a plot scattered somewhere in there but the pace is so slow and the missions so dull you wouldn’t care even if they weren’t there at all. Supposed it’s about Marika finding the courage to command her own pirate crew and supposed she first learns how to steer a yacht in space and supposed she takes up important missions and supposed she is looking for her father or something. And all this time you are just wondering WHERE THE HELL IS THE PIRATE ACTION? Nowhere; there isn’t enough suspense to fill an ant’s belly. Just imagine that after each mission we get the girls working as maids and eating cake. Instead of, I don’t know, trying to heal their wounds, split the loot or mourn for their casualties; now that would be somewhat interesting.Towards the end it gets a bit more action-based, as there is this shit that destroys pirate ships for real, and Marika’s long lost dad appears but nobody recognises him because he wears a mask. Yeah, I guess his voice and behaviour don’t matter at all to the people who knew him for decades. But once again the whole thing plays out as dull as possible and doesn’t miss the chance to show the lolis smiling while eating cake five minutes after they were almost killed.The lack of excitement and actual piracy is bound to alienate most viewers, but there are still those who will stick around for the possible comedy or dark and violent turnaround later on. Well let me spare you the pain; you won’t get any of that. In its initial episodes the show seemed to be building up towards something amazing and had a huge positive image by most in the fandom. Some loved the miniskirt girls, some were amazed with the sci-fi touches, some expected pirate action, and some expected a mysterious and complicating social commentary regarding the future uses of piracy through cyber terrorism. After 7 episodes though, the interest died out almost entirely since the miniskirts can’t keep you interested for more than a couple of hours, the sci-fi touches became more scarce and weren’t that elaborate anymore, there was no pirate action and there was no social commentary after all. It was just a dull show where nothing happens. Of course you can still watch it for the cute girls if you belong to those who don’t care about story or themes and just watch for the lulz, which is the prime reason moe sells so much in Japan, the country where working is the same as hard labor for life at some penal colony.That aside, it is nothing but a silly light comedy with dumb cute girls in mini skirts pretending to be vicious pirates and doing silly simplistic adventures with zero action or excitement. Which is not funny at all. It is a desolate wasteland of a toned down in fanservice adventure that doesn’t excel at anything. The girls aren’t particularly hot or interesting; they are defined by generic traits and have zero backdrop stories or personalities. The design work brings nothing eye-catchy to the table. Genericness, ho! The ultimate mainstream show, you could say. Easy going for everyone to watch after a hard day, but eventually no more than background noise that gets forgotten as soon as the next moe show pops up.
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